My husband didn’t have a dad but HE is a great one!

File Jan 23, 10 13 09 PMMy husband Eric’s biological dad has never been in his life. Sadly, his step dad was in his life from about ages 2-17, but he said the only thing he really remembers about his step-dad is that he used to sit at the breakfast table in his bathrobe and never looked up when he entered the room. That crushes me because I remember reading a few years ago that Oprah had a moment in the 1990’s where she figured out one of her greatest life lessons was “that everybody just wants to be appreciated or validated.” She then had an aha! moment in 2000 when Toni Morrison, author of The Bluest Eye, was on the show asking, “Does your face light up [when you see children]?” because that allows your face to speak how your heart feels.

Ever since I heard that, I have made a concerted effort to always look SO happy and thrilled when my children or my husband walk into the room. I do that because I know I have always felt loved by my parents and that feeling is wonderful. To think that my husband never got this from his dad breaks my heart. But here’s the thing, despite not having a true father in his life and feeling like he did not have any love from a father, he has somehow figured out how to be a pretty AH-mazing father (AND husband)! And at 15 years old, thankfully God put a wonderful person in Eric’s life, his best friend Chris (who was best man at our wedding). I think Eric has always looked up to Chris although they are only one year apart. Who says your male influence has to be your father, right?

Just so you can keep up… I was married before Eric. We had my now 10 year old Lily and we divorced before she was two. It was sad and heart-breaking but we all somehow figured out how to make post-divorce life work. So much so, I wrote about what divorce looks like in our house last Summer here on the blog. Years ago, Lily’s dad moved to Los Angeles so he has been very supportive of Eric being a major part of her life and he and Eric get along great! I know, kinda crazy right?!

Eric could have ran the other way when we met. I mean good gravy, I got Breast Cancer less than a year after we met. But, he didn’t run. He fell in love with me AND my daughter, who is now also his daughter. He loves both our girls exactly the same and I know they love him with all their hearts. We are his world andFile Jan 25, 5 28 26 PM he is ours. This man goes out of his way to take care of his girls too. He loves on them, he disciplines them, he takes them on Daddy/Daughter dates, he wants to create memories for them. He gets it. He gets Fatherhood. Is he perfect? Probably not (sorry honey! lol), but neither am I. None of us are. But what matters most is he tries really hard to get it right and most of the time he does.

Why am I telling you this? Because good people deserve to be recognized. Good men need to be recognized too! Plus he deserves to be recognized on a random day that is not Father’s Day and I wanted to do that today. I am reading a devotional right now by my Pastor Andy Stanley’s wife, Sandra Stanley called Comparison Trap. I found this beautiful picture in her book that says, “Celebrate others out loud and on purpose.” So doesn’t it just make sense that we should do File Jan 25, 5 28 50 PMthat? For all of the people we love?! No matter how big or small their accomplishments? CELEBRATE OTHERS OUT LOUD AND ON PURPOSE! I love it and I love him!

XO Surviving Mommy

 

 

 

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14 Comments

  • Hope says:

    Cindy – I believe sometimes you strive to be the best of what you never had – but wanted. I love seeing you and Eric and your beautiful family !!!

  • Carolyn C says:

    Wow! This is wonderful! We should definitely celebrate great Dads everyday! I’m so happy for you that you found your Prince Charming!!! ❤️❤️

  • Michele says:

    You are lucky! Everyone needs to take a minute to let the ones they love know they love them. It only takes a minute but last a lifetime. Thanks for sharing.

  • Deb Griffin says:

    As someone who has known both Chris and Eric since High School (Chris longer, he is my nephew) I can tell you that they were fine boys and they are fine men. Neither had fathers who were active in their lives, but they have grown up to be wonderful dads. Proving that we all have the power to be better than what we got handed to us if we can focus on the present and not let the past drag us down. Thanks to you for knowing how lucky you are. Good men need to be congratulated!

  • Ashley Davis says:

    He is an awesome dad! I admire him and how much he loves you and the girls, including your mom!

  • nancy says:

    My dad physically lived in the house with us, but was a mean alcoholic, with terrible, negative comments to all…. so i never really had a good father figure, or ever heard “I love you”…..Fortunately, my hubby is the BEST in the whole wide world and universe (lol) and it amazes me to see him as an amazing dad to our now adult children. God sure made up for what I didn’t have as a dad, in my hubby!!!!! Im so happy God brought you and Eric together! His plan is always PERFECT!! you have a beautiful family!

  • Robin Thompson says:

    This really touched me – from Eric’s perspective. I was divorced when my daughter was one year old and my son was three and 1/2. Their bio wanted nothing to do with them. When my son was 26 he married and 2 years later he and his wife had a son. They divorced when my grandson was almost 2 – my son was granted 50% custody. Fast-forward to when my grandson was 7 – his mother left my grandson’s life and hasn’t seen him in five years. My son is the full-time parent. He didn’t really know how to be a Dad because he didn’t have one – but he made it work. So did Eric. These men deserve more than a day (Father’s Day) they deserve a “Best Man/Father/Dad/Friend in the World” day!

  • C says:

    Thank you for sharing this story Cindy.

  • Paige says:

    This resonates with me as my Daddy had a similar story. His father was an alcoholic and left when my dad was young. However, my Daddy gave his life to Christ soon after my brother was born and he has been THE BEST daddy any kid could want or need. I asked him once how he could be so good when he had no example growing up and he said, ” I wanted to give you what I never had”! My brothers and I are blessed. My Daddy is my hero!!

  • Regina Ice says:

    Beautiful testimony!! ♡♡♡♡

  • Lorrie says:

    Love this post Cindy! 🙂

  • Crystal Casey says:

    LOVE THIS!!!!! I was raised by my dad and step mom. I get it! I couldn’t wait to be married and finally be someone’s most important. When that didn’t happen, I slowly learned by the grace of God that my emotional well being cannot come from another person. It comes from my heavenly father. Life changing! And a game changer in my marriage! Redemption. Grace. Celebration. Affirmation. All of it. So BIG! (I am too reading #ComparisonTrap right now. 19 days in.)

  • Josie Long says:

    All I can say is AWWWWWWWWWWW!! Cindy, reading your blogs touch me in so many ways. This blog, especially touched my heart! Now, I will state this.. When I first met Eric, back in like 2011, I just knew he was going to be the “one”, you would be getting married to, and omg sure enough I was like totally right!!!
    I’m so beyond blessed, and fortunate to have met such a wonderful man, like your hubster (hehe, just love that nickname)!

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