My husband “says” I just did this in front of him for the first time ever!


My husband and I have been together for going on seven years. I feel very strongly about keeping some things private and sacred in our relationship. I believe in trying to keep elements of romance alive as much as possible. Something that does NOT assist in keeping romance alive is…here I go, I’m gonna say it right here…TOOTING! Sigh. Yes, I know…a word or action that noone really likes to talk about but one that we ALL (yes, ALLLLL) do. As in YOU, your family, your friends, your Pastor, Thor, Sophia Vergara, Bradley Cooper, Olivia Pope, THE Pope, EVERYONE! Unfortunately, I am writing about it today because he SAYS I broke our rule. MY OWN RULE. The no tooting rule. I broke it according to him. He “SAAAAAID” I did it. hee hee

HONEYIt all started around 6am when our youngest daughter Luna got up WAY earlier than normal. My hubster and I both got awake but I went in her room to check on her. After I settled her back into bed until 7am, I crawled back into our bed and started checking emails on my phone while my husband was asleep. OR SO I THOUGHT! Now to give you a little history, a SEMI TRUCK could drive through our room and he wouldn’t wake up. A flock of BIRDS could fly through our bedroom cawing and cackling and he wouldn’t wake up! But ohhhhh noooo, not today. A tiny little sound MAY have happened BY ACCIDENT and what does this guy do? He WAKES UP and says, uhhhhh…what was that? I panicked and said, “what?” (Playing coy and innocent). He said, “Did you just TOOT?” And I said, “Toot? What are you talking about?” Awkward silence. I thought he went back to sleep. I said nothing else. I was ecstatic. He has NO proof! Maybe he will think he had a dream. A bad dream. Then a little while later the alarm went off and we got our day started. I thought, YES…I’m free and clear. He doesn’t remember…I am off the hook IF that is in fact what I did. Yahhhhh…NO SUCH LUCK. Just as our oldest daughter Lily was getting her shoes on for school, he said to her…”Guess what MOMMY did today for the first time ever honey?” BUSTED according to him! “Seriously…is nothing sacred in our house” is what I said to him to which he, OF COURSE, replied…”Really? Apparently, not any more!”

So there you have it. I will NOT admit it. It may or may not have happened. That being said, I kindly told my sweet Hubster that IF it did in fact happen, it was a one time only occurrence and it didn’t mean we were free to be ummm…free. But it got me to thinking…what is the relationship rule in your house? Are you in a toot-free relationship or are you totally free to be ummm…free? 😉

XO Surviving Mommy



  • OMG…I am dying laughing! I am much older than you, but I have always been a “secret” tooter too! Our home has always been “free” tooting with my husband and three children, but not me! When my children were little, I was reading them “The Night Before Christmas”, on Christmas Eve, and you guessed it…I tooted. They looked at me in shock and said, “did you just toot?”. Of course I lied, but they did not buy it! They told their Dad when he came in the room, and he cracked up! I have NEVER lived it down! The oldest is now 30, and every time Christmas rolls around and that book is mentioned, it goes straight to…remember when Mom tooted during the story. I am such an easy audience with toot machines or anything that makes that noise. It makes me laugh so hard. I just wish I felt “free” enough to just “let loose” in front of my husband. There is more room on the outside!!!! Thank you for sharing your hilarious story! It’s nice to laugh first thing in the morning!!!

  • Ashley Davis says:

    Not that I have a lot of gas, but I would absolutely die if I had to hold my Toots in!!! Lol

  • Christy says:

    LOL!!!! My hubby & I have been married for 14 1/2 years & I still refuse to “toot” in front of him! I have accidentally let them slip a time or 2 but blame it on the dog….lol! When it’s in front of the kids I just tell them I stepped on a frog. For a long time my son who is now 9 really thought I was stepping on frogs. Lol so of course one day he tells my hubby “Mama stepped on a frog today” My hubby just laughed. I was so embarrassed!

  • Nancy says:

    You crack me up!! Married31 years now with 2 adult kids( oh wait…. Make that 3!!!), my family makes the moment quite entertaining! Gotta laugh in life, right????? Inside the home only……….

  • Kebra says:

    I could not hold it like that. I am discrete as any one can be but, you know, it’s just a bodily function that happens. Sometimes you just have to pass gas!! Just laugh about it it’s ok!!

  • Terri says:

    We’ve been together for 22 years and we don’t do THAT or potty in front of each other! That is JUST private business all the way around! I have had the accidental and I blame it on the dog as well. Our 15-year-old is immune to the rule however as he lets NO gas stay inside for fear his body might explode! HA HA

  • Marie says:

    So, I am like you and mortified if this happens. But both my family and my husbands family do not see it this way. My mom and dad would both pass gas, say excuse me and it was over. But no embarrassment or anything – just like a burp or even a sneeze. My husbands family though, they think it is hilarious (at least the guys do!) His mom just rolls her eyes and says “boys will be boys”. But if my FIL passes gas, he starts laughing and my husband laughs as well up as well. He has told me that they used to have games revolving around burping and passing gas…wow…yeah…

    However, my husband KNOWS to not say anything if he hears me do that – which is not often at all! HA!. 🙂

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