If you saw me naked, this is what you would see!

Let’s talk about being naked! But first, a little back story!

Seven years ago I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. It was one of the scariest times of my life and one of the best times of my life. Yep, that’s right I said best!

Many people refer to this memory as a “Cancerversary” which I kinda love. 1. Because it means celebrating I am alive and I’m all about that being alive stuff! And 2. My husband knows my love language is receiving gifts and he usually does something special to celebrate this occasion. (ie. CAKE!!!) hee hee (If you haven’t read The 5 Love Languages book-buy it NOW, it’s AWESOME).

CANCER2Before I had both of my daughters, I was in pretty good shape and I thought A LOT about how I looked physically. Heck, don’t we all? When you get Cancer though and not only lose your hair but gain a bunch of weight from chemo, most of that vainness sort of goes out the window…you just don’t wanna die and that sort of changes things.

Through the whole Breast Cancer process, you start to re-evaluate things. Life, work, friends, and priorities. It’s not an overnight thing but a slow and steady realization that you keep going back to every day because no matter how far you are away from your initial Cancer diagnosis, you are reminded that you had Cancer. Every.Single.Day.

When I’m naked and look in the mirror, I see the scar from my port on my upper chest where the chemo IV would go into my body. I see the extra weight from the five year BC pill Tamoxifen I was on, and finally, I see the most noticeable thing to me…my breasts. Aka the girls and it looks like the girls are winking at you. No really. (lol) Let me explain.

I decided after a few Cancer and reconstructive surgeries, I didn’t want to finish my nipple reconstruction. So yes, I only have one nipple. There, I said it. So the other breast just kinda looks like it is winking. 🙂 I never finished because I was done. Done with being overly obsessed with how I looked on the outside and since there was only one other person who I cared about what he thought (and he didn’t and doesn’t care), I decided no more surgeries for me. (Thank you to my friend Dr. Carmen Kavali, who as a plastic surgeon, has ALWAYS been so hugely supportive of that decision!)

So sure, once in a while I may get frustrated with my extra lb’s (hey, I’m a woman!) or have a glance in the mirror at my winky girls (as I call them)…but I move on because I am alive. Praise the Lord I am alive, happy and most importantly healthy!

So Happy being Cancer-free to me!!!! Wooohooo!

XO Cindy

 

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25 Comments

  • Sandra Griffin Boyett says:

    Congratulations and stay positive. Sure do miss you on the radio.

  • Kathy Hayter says:

    Inner health is the best health of all!!!! So happy for you and “the girls” And hey, a wink is a positive gesture that one makes when being silly, or agreeing with someone or whatever! So.. you are secretly winking all the time! You know I think you are super fantastic!!!

  • Titania Jordan says:

    Love you! *cue Beyonce’s “I’m a survivor” here*

  • Mindy says:

    You are such an amazing woman! Your strength, vulnerability, prospective on life, honesty, attitude, and humor is so inspiring.

  • Michele says:

    You give hope for so many people. Your positive attitude is contagious! You are a survivor and an amazing woman! What an inspiration! I know I can always look up to you because you make a difference. Even to those who don’t know you personally. I love your outlook on life and I continue to wish you the best in the years to come!

  • Carmen Kavali says:

    I love this so much, and love you, too!

  • Linda Manns Linneman says:

    Thank God for sparing you your life. Things like this do make us realize what is important and what is not. Thank you for sharing this and God Bless.

  • Calvin F. says:

    Cancer sucks, glad you kicked it in the butt.

  • bianca roman says:

    that is awesome that you decided to go against the “norm” and not finish the reconstructive surgery, even if it was just for one nipple. the only people like you said, it matters to, is to you and your husband.

    <3333

  • ANTHONY says:

    THANKS GOD I STILL HAVE YOU AS A FRIEND THAT IS WHY I LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND AND FAMILY

  • Veronica Lee says:

    Love your attitude. girl! You are AWESOME!

  • Sue E says:

    Of course, I am NOT at all happy that you had cancer!! But I am happy about your honesty!
    I too went through chemo, radiation, stem cell transplant, having two Ports, because one became infected, a central line, etc.! Also gaining weight! A lot of people think that cancer patients are as skinny as a rail! It all depends on the treatment you have. I had a bout of steroids, which made me an eating, non sleeping machine! I also had surgery for a huge tumor that was on my spine. I too came to the realization that I am not going to stress over my weight! Kudos for you! I think you are beautiful inside and out!! Praying that you keep your positive attitude!! 🙏🏼

  • Molli Vandehey-Taylor says:

    than k you for oyur honesty and humor. cancer sucks but you are still here!

  • Sarh S says:

    I love your strength and courage to not continue with reconstructive surgery. Embrace your winking breast as a “yep, this is what my body has survived”.

  • We re trying several brands of the extra sensitive thin. We won t invite someone back if we
    find out that the drink too much or do drugs.

  • Angela September Smith says:

    hey a wink is better than not being here today to tell your story!!
    plus it’s like extra special now lol

  • Manoj says:

    You did well

  • Julie Barrett says:

    Wow! You have such an amazing attitude and an inspiring story! Thanks for sharing your journey! I’ve struggled with chronic illnesses for the past 8 yrs and although they aren’t deadly, they’ve affected everything and changed my life completely. I struggle to see the good things in life when my health never improves but your post is a great reminder of the attitude I should have. Gaining weight, losing my hair, feeling unattractive – none of that should even matter when we are just struggling to survive. Thanks again for sharing your story and outlook on your cancer journey. You’re a strong survivor and an inspiration to others! Blessings!

  • Rosie says:

    What an amazing story, congratulations on surviving and being able to enjoy life. Many people don’t realize some of the things they feel are most important to them, may not be what really matters. You are an inspiration!

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