Ok insert laughing here or rolling of the eyes at the title of this post but wait, hear me out…
I recently met a new mom in my neighborhood. I’ve seen her around for a few weeks now because it seems our daughters go to the same school. It turns out that our daughters are also in the same Ballet class and yesterday, she introduced herself to me. The reason I’ve noticed her around the ‘hood before is because she has really short hair (and AWESOME grown up braces). Like cute, pixie, I look like I just rolled out of bed, did nothing to my hair and I still look like a million bucks, hair. We talked for a while and she was soooo easy to talk to. Oh and not only does she run her own social media marketing company, she’s a speaker, an author AND a web therapist…basically a bada$$ in a tiny little body! And man oh man, I love meeting vibrant new women! One of my besties who I mentioned in a previous post about her TWO sets of twins, she too has short hair and runs a MAJOR hotel! Another bada$$ in a tiny package! Then ANOTHER neighbor of my mine has that Claire from House of Cards hair. Short and sassy. Gorgeous not only on the outside but on the inside too. And SHEEE owns her own very amazing Yoga company! Seriously…these women! And these are just the few that I mentioned.
Here’s how they all tie into my fear of cutting my hair. Years ago, BBC, (Before Breast Cancer), I cut my hair into a short bob. It was my choice and I looooved it. Then I grew it out because that was my choice too. When I got sick though, my really long hair started to fall out and it was scarier than I thought it was going to be. I immediately ran to my salon (Thank you Vis-A-Vis The Salon in Buckhead) and had them chop it off. The thing is though, it wasn’t my “choice” to chop it off. I was sick, doing chemo. radiation, blah blah blah and NO part of that whole losing your hair thing was fun. When my hair started growing back after chemo, I didn’t even want to try and enjoy the short hair cus I was so obsessed with growing my hair back and boy it grew back. In fact, that is all I have been doing for about the last four years. Growing and growing and growing. Seriously, like Rapunzel…and although my daughters and I love that Disney movie, it has been getting out of control and I knew it needed to be trimmed. Ok, CUT! So when I went to see my guys Jeffrey and Shawn today at Vis-A-Vis, I said I wanted to go all Kelly Ripa on them but the truth is, I couldn’t do it. I am not ready. If you have ever lost most or all of your hair from Cancer, you probably understand.
I wish I could say I am not that insecure, but alas…I can’t. I would love to be like those women above. All free willy nilly and confident with their cute short hair but that’s not me and I reminded myself today, that it’s okay! Their short hair isn’t what makes them confident or even who they are, it’s their hearts…their souls. And my confidence is there too, it comes from what is on my inside AND because I am a Survivor ANNNNND ok for now, sometimes because of my long hair. lol So I’m just gonna be me, long hair and all and who knows, maybe I will cut it someday and maybe I won’t. 😉
XO Surviving Mommy