My ten year old is a pretty good kid. She is respectful, funny and has a really kind heart. She does pretty darn good in school too. Like so far it’s been mostly straight A’s with an occasional B. Monday she came home and handed me her folder. The folder of the week’s work and tests…the ones the teachers want the parents to see because we have to sign it and return them to school. As we were going through the papers as we usually do each week, we paused when we got to her science test. A BIG FAT F!! That’s right. A 60, which equals A BIG FAT F!!!!!! I literally was speechless. I had every emotion. Shock. Disappointment. Anger. Disgust. I felt like I was all of the Inside Out movie characters rolled into one.
My first (bad) instinct was to scream and yell at her. Then I felt like crying. Like, how did I fail her?! I also felt embarrassment because parents, you know. YOU KNOWWWW your brain goes to that place. The place of oh em gee, that teacher knows this is MY fault. MY doing. I took a deep breath remembering everything I said above. She IS a good kid and she does get good grades and we all make mistakes. I also thought about my Momma Jane and how I know she also had this moment with me because I too got an F on a test. (or two, ok, maybe three, lol)
I asked her what happened and she was honest. She had a test that Monday morning and she forgot. She forgot to tell us ALLLLL weekend long. She played with her friends instead. Funny how they can remember to do that. She didn’t remember until we were on the way to school Monday morning and she studied in the car while I thought she was reading her Harry Potter book. She didn’t study enough and she failed. PLain and simple. I took a deep breath, said a little prayer asking for guidance and decided to have a heart to heart talk with her about respect. I explained to her that she was being disrespectful to her teacher by not studying. Her teacher works very hard to educate her and she gave her a task and that she basically gave her science teacher the big whatever by not studying. So I had her write an apology letter to her. I let her write what she wanted and then I had her also write out the entire test (which was definitions of different electricity descriptions) and give them both to her teacher today in class. Not because she hoped she would change her grade but so that she could show her what she should have done in the first place. I also told her she was being disrespectful to her parents and to herself. It was a good talk and I felt like she got it.
She was nervous when she went to school today and I told her she should be. I wanted her to look her teacher in the eyes and apologize in person as well as give her the note and the homework. I also took away her iPad use for the week. Wanted to really send my point home! 😉
I hope, but I know this doesn’t mean it will be the last bad grade she will get. I just hope that she learned something from this experience. I would love to hear how you all deal (or have dealt) with bad grade moments like this in your home.
Thanks for sharing!
XO Surviving Mommy