I received an email from a good friend who needed some advice and I was kinda stuck so I asked her if I could share the story with you all here. She gladly said yes!
First…a little back story. I’ve known my friend since I’ve lived in Atlanta. She has two children. An 11 year old daughter Kelsey in fifth grade and an eight year old son Carter in third grade. Her kids are some of the most well-behaved kids I’ve ever seen and pretty darn respectful too. She’s a good Momma and they are good kids. Our family enjoys spending time with them.
She got an email the other day from another mom about her son Carter. It read:
I need your help. Steven has wanted to play football at recess each day this week, but his friends (it’s 3 on 3) say he cannot play. Monday afternoon Steven and I discussed strategies…maybe he needs to find another person to keep the teams even…but the boys keep saying the league is formed for the year, and no one else can play. Each day he’s tried a new angle, but no success. Today, one of the boys said, “by the way, you can’t play with us at recess,” when he was walking by in the cafeteria. This has been tough…these are Steven’s friends. Let me know if you have any thoughts or insights…Thanks! Janice
I asked her if there was anything more to the story and she said that her son Carter told her that Steven had originally formed a team of his own at the beginning of the year and wouldn’t let him and his friends play on it so they started their own team. So now it seems Steven wants to be on their team.
She feels strongly about letting the boys figure it out for themselves and that her job is preparing the road ahead for her kids, not paving the way. She feels for Steven’s mom Janice and the situation but she also feels that it is better for the boys to work it out on their own and that she shouldn’t intervene. It reminds me of a great message that our Church, North Point Community Church is doing right now called, “Helping the Next Generation Win.” Talking about what can we do to help the next generation to see the world in a way that sets them up for success.
Soooooo what say you? Should she respond to Janice and if so, how? Does she get involved or let the boys figure it out themselves? What would YOU do?
Thanks for your help!
XO Surviving Mommy